"It's just time to Grow up." This phrase is something that I have heard many times over the years and something that I have told myself on a daily basis. I have spent over half my life trying to figure out why I can't seem to fit in to this life of "adulthood." I have tried, trust me, but I always end up miserable and feel myself lacking and searching for this "grown up world" that I should some how be okay conforming to. In trying to do so I have dramatically changed me. I have outwardly become this timid, uptight, quite person because I am always afraid of letting the childish side of me come out. The reality of it is....its not working,and it never will because I am not being true to me.
I finally get that I am a grown up and that growing up does not have to mean losing your spirit, imagination and zest for life. It does not mean that you have to cave to the norms of society. In fact when you settling for less than you really are leaves you living in zombie like state; not dead but not really alive. Its scary how many of us settle for that reality. I realized that I was doing it all wrong while reading a book called Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill ((quick plug for the book....it is a must read for everyone.)) In this book I had to find something that I was passionate about. Not something that I could live with, or something that would please others, but something that created in me a fire and drive.
To do this I really had to get out of my head. I really had to let go of the shackles and chains of believing in self made limits. I had to just let it all go and believe. When I finally did .....I found it.....I found what it really is that I want to do with my life.. I am working harder than ever to obtain this dream that will be my life. My work will be something that will provide for my family, and will help others. It will be something that I feel blessed to have the ability to do everyday. Most of all it will allow me to remain to true me. I am still in the process of getting it all together. Putting tons of trust into the universe and allowing things to open up the way they should. I am super excited and will talk more about it when I have the fundamentals in place.
I know that not everyone will understand or get me and that is okay. I wrote this more as reminder to myself when I am feeling pressure from the world to conform. Just please don't ask me to grow up~ if by growing up you are asking me to confine myself to a prison of being something that I am not. Please don't ask me to give up on the light and essence that is me. Please don't ask me not to believe in the light and magic of my life. I may not seem or be perfect.....but I can be perfectly me....and to those who love me that should be enough.
So that being said ...here are a few things about me......
In being me...I will never believe in a fear based organization. Going to Wal-Mart, a bank or a gas station will always stress me out. I will never be in style. I will never fit in to social grown up norms. Air port security will always seem like a joke to me and stress me out. I will continue to work towards my dreams and educate myself. I will always take care of kids and make sure that they are loved, and that they are learning to eat well, learning to help others and learning about the magic of who they are. I will allow my children to dream and believe in a world full of hope and promise.
I will always believe in :
~ Fairies, dragons, mermaids and other mythical creatures, Magic, Running barefoot in the grass, Imagination, Peace, Hope, Smiles and Laughter, Spending time watching the clouds, Yoga and Meditation, Dancing, in the beauty of imperfection, Fairy tales, Dancing in the rain, splashing in mud puddles, Road trips and Bill boards can change your life =), Adventure, Self healing, Drumming, Moon magic, Dancing around camp fires,the power of wishing on stars, that there is good in everyone,that the beach is one of the most magical places on earth, travel, in not giving up on people, second chances, education, play grounds, making flower necklaces and crowns, getting dirty, dirty hippie feet, Frisbee, outdoors, festivals, Mud pies and mud wars, growing things, wonder and awe, riding bikes, movie nights, hula hooping, swimming, trying lots of new things, being excited, spending lots of time with loved ones...friends ....free spirited people and children, music, spending time alone, writing, hugging trees, loving animals, in not eating animals,poetry, trusting yourself, helping others every chance you get, playing, exercise, breathing, forgiving myself and others, sunsets, letting go, trusting, one person making a difference, hugs, angels, my guides, trying new things, tarot cards, amusement parks, dressing up like pirates...fairies..harry potter character ect and just playing, love can conquer all, being true to yourself, the Universe, those that love me, my kids, scared sounds,water falls, crystals, reading, chanting, living many life times, hand written letters,romance, candle light, watching birds, dragonflies and other insects, protecting our environment, Mother Earth, willow trees, honoring the rhythm of the seasons, taking lots of pictures, moon magic, gypsy life style,jingly coin belts, the sun, sun dresses, fire spinning, hippy skirts, healthy eating, wisdom of the Jedi, Yoda, taking in strays, cartoons, tropical breezes and drinks, water, good health, a home being full of laughter and people....not things, love, BFFs, holding hands, great sex, heroes, faith, power of Reiki and other energy healing, the magic of a kiss, fun, live theater, every person and encounter teaches us something, singing, life, joy, wisdom, sleep, herbal remedies, ....the list goes on and on and will continue to grow every day...
Namaste...
