Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Demons

She is drowning
Crying
Screaming, but no one can hear
Fighting and gasping for air
Struggling against each wave
Struggling against every moment
The waves pull her under
The weight of the body of water
Is suffocating...
The pain that she feels from being beaten
By the remains of what once was her life
Take the air from her lungs
Even when she can gasp for air
Not taking no for an answer
Her demons are fighting her
On every level
Penetrating darkness into her body
Forcefully...Angrily
Her demons use her body
Taunt her
Reek havoc on her soul
She is drowning
She is dying
So she stops..
She stops fighting
Her body goes limp
She is defeated
She disconnects and leaves her body
She imagines she is in the ocean
Floating
Peaceful, serene, safe
She prays
That when she opens her eyes
It will be sand beneath her body
Not the sticky red horror of her own blood
She doesn't remember when the assault stops
She doesn't remember when her demons leave her
She comes back to her body
Alone, cold..
Covered in the eccense of her life force
A life force that was forcefully taken
She is hollow and full of grief
A sob escapes her lips
But she pushes it back
She came here
She played with fire that holds demons
She asked for love
This, she learned at an early age
Is love
A war, a battlefield
One in which you can't for a second let your guard down
This is what happens when you trust
She picks up her bruised and tattered body
Wipes the blood from her lips
Hoping it will take away the sting
Acknowledging, that there isn't a place on her body that doesn't hurt
Realizing that her body, and heart and soul
Are forever changed
She turns on the shower
Watches the steam fill the air
Cryptically watchs the blood swirl and disappear down the drain
Parts of herself that she will never get back
She feverishly washes the blood from her body
From her hair
Reminders of all she lost
A reminder of her weakness
She stays until the water loses its healing heat
Drys herself
Tries to remember to breathe
To remember her training
She once again disconnects
Opens the door
Forces a nice word, a smile
She crawls into bed with her demons
Kisses them goodnight with sore swollen lips
Listen to them lie and taunt her once again
She closes her eyes
Knowing she will fight them in her sleep
Knowing she will fight them when she wakes
Knowing she will fight them everyday
Until the last of her life is given
Until she has nothing left to fight for
This is her life
Surrounded by demons
Screaming so loud...
It's all she can hear
Screaming
But no one can hear
She is drowning