~This has become my song....my way of healing. I think part of the issue in dealing with PTSD, is that I really wanted the part of me that died back. The girl who saw the world through rose colored eyes. I wasn't accepting, that I now view the world with less trust. Less trust, but honestly, I am still very trusting. I am just not as naive. I have also grown in so many ways. I am stronger than I thought I could be. Yes, I got stuck. Yes, I kinda still am on some levels. But I am working on it every day. So while this may not be where I saw my life.....it is where I am. My core qualities never went away....and honestly, my life is beautiful. I am dreamer and I have so many things that are moving forward. I am back at my yoga... and I am speaking my mind. I am finding my voice again. That part sucks sometimes, because its hard to put myself first. Its harder when you just want to keep those you love in your life, but your needs, your voice pushes them away. Guilt is still there, but in more reasonable doses. I am really growing....and I feel like this next year is going to be mind blowing. Less waiting and more doing. This is part of the song I fell in love with, because it is very me.
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